With sore legs after last night's weakened slog home after Flugelhornery, I looked forward to testing the trail legs at Gateway Park after my workly duties were completed today. With no rain in the area since yesterday afternoon, I was hopeful that the trail would be open and dry enough to get some decent work in with the weather slightly cooperative for the skies were clear skies and the temperature rested at a humid 91 degrees . With great joy and celebration, the trail appeared open and I began my journey with enthusiasm and jubilant merriment. The parking lot was scarcely populated so my concerns about being stalked and approached by men with less than pure intentions quickly faded. Last night I was metaphorically spanked by Mile 2 Hill on my run home and I had no intentions of being involuntarily spanked by manly means on this night (if rumors about some of the fitness enthusiasts in this park are accurate and an experience in this park recently did little to dispel such rumors). Nonetheless, I took off from the trailhead opportunistic that my run would be successful and pleased that my recent concerns were purely imaginative given the lack of potential perpetrators in the near vicinity.
My opportunism soon vanished as my legs displayed great reluctance to appear athletic within any stretch of the imagination due to the stiffness from last night's run. Though I mentally attacked the trail with aggressive determination, my legs were very slow to respond to most of my requests and the tightening in my upper legs made me fearful of injury. Thus I decided that a run of any decent length would due more harm than good so I convinced myself that 1 loop through the trail would adequately work my stiff legs which had not recently experienced the technical challenges of any trail running. Other factors weighed in this decision as well. My evening schedule was not as clear as I previously thought with extra errands needing to be completed in a timely manner upon my run's completion. Thus with great disappointment I exited the trail after one brief loop of 2.68 miles.
Tomorrow's run will be 4-6 miles and then this weekend I will courageously attempt a 10-15 mile skirmish on Saturday followed by 9 mile hackery on Sunday. I will need to get my fitness back as quickly as possible to regain the momentum needed to get back on schedule. For at the end of this week I will have but 9 weeks left to train before I embark on my race adventure and quest to finish DFL.
It would be easy to be disenchanted with my quest and if I appear in such a manner, do not be discouraged or uneasy about my affairs. I am stubbornly motivated and will take whatever actions that are needed to cross the finish line after all others. Of this I am extremely confident!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
A Painful Return....
Finally I have been blessed with a return to my DFL training! The last week was filled with so much Flugelhornery, rain storms, and unscheduled minstral appearances that finding time to even consider an inadequate weekend run was indeed out of the question.
I was worried that the lack of training over the last 2 weeks would put my fitness in a state of despair. After tonight's run, I feel that my concerns were quite substantiated. The Flugelhorn players were released by 8:30pm this evening and I promptly clipped my Party Bag of Man Pursery on and took off running before some concern could present itself which would make me have second thoughts of my current undertaking!
My first 2 miles were at blistering pace. Much faster than I have ever run before on this course and my confidence level swelled immensely. However, Mile 2 Hill had second thoughts about my pace and before I reached the crest, I was confident that certain impending humiliation had my throat firmly grasped. My pace, up until then, was averaging a brisk 9:30 minutes per mile! But Mile 2 Hill promptly pulled down my britches and gave me a sharp spanking for starting out too fast. By the time I had completed Mile 3, I was a minute slower per mile and my hopes of a 5 mile run were quickly and enthusiastically abandoned. With the recent rains, the humidity had doubled since my last training session and I felt as if I was running in a steamed bath house minus the obligatory towel whipping from the obese hairy gentleman in the corner. I obviously was not prepared to complete a run of decent distance or any resemblance of comfort for that matter. I decided that my final mile would be a decent opportunity to work on struggling of which I am sure I will be doing at the race. This objective was successfully completed for I am sure that anyone who saw me surely gasped in horror and awaited my impending collapse. As I turned onto the final stretch, I had slowed almost to 11 minutes per mile. This humiliating effort, though both mentally and physically painful, will be righted in due time!
This run already has motivated me to vigorously attack my training in the upcoming days and I will need all the assistance (and also prayers) I can get. I am hopeful that tomorrow's run will be on a trail near work for 7 miles. I do fear, however, that the trail may be closed due to the recent rainfall so alternate routes of failure will need to be contemplated. Nonetheless, I will be prepared to attack tomorrow's training with as much energy and curse words as I can muster and am hopeful that the adventure will give me plenty of ill advised antics that I can report to you upon its completion!
I hope that you are pleased with my inglorious return and may this report confirm to you that my idiocracy has not been abandoned and will thus continue with ill advised determination and relentless stupidity!
I was worried that the lack of training over the last 2 weeks would put my fitness in a state of despair. After tonight's run, I feel that my concerns were quite substantiated. The Flugelhorn players were released by 8:30pm this evening and I promptly clipped my Party Bag of Man Pursery on and took off running before some concern could present itself which would make me have second thoughts of my current undertaking!
My first 2 miles were at blistering pace. Much faster than I have ever run before on this course and my confidence level swelled immensely. However, Mile 2 Hill had second thoughts about my pace and before I reached the crest, I was confident that certain impending humiliation had my throat firmly grasped. My pace, up until then, was averaging a brisk 9:30 minutes per mile! But Mile 2 Hill promptly pulled down my britches and gave me a sharp spanking for starting out too fast. By the time I had completed Mile 3, I was a minute slower per mile and my hopes of a 5 mile run were quickly and enthusiastically abandoned. With the recent rains, the humidity had doubled since my last training session and I felt as if I was running in a steamed bath house minus the obligatory towel whipping from the obese hairy gentleman in the corner. I obviously was not prepared to complete a run of decent distance or any resemblance of comfort for that matter. I decided that my final mile would be a decent opportunity to work on struggling of which I am sure I will be doing at the race. This objective was successfully completed for I am sure that anyone who saw me surely gasped in horror and awaited my impending collapse. As I turned onto the final stretch, I had slowed almost to 11 minutes per mile. This humiliating effort, though both mentally and physically painful, will be righted in due time!
This run already has motivated me to vigorously attack my training in the upcoming days and I will need all the assistance (and also prayers) I can get. I am hopeful that tomorrow's run will be on a trail near work for 7 miles. I do fear, however, that the trail may be closed due to the recent rainfall so alternate routes of failure will need to be contemplated. Nonetheless, I will be prepared to attack tomorrow's training with as much energy and curse words as I can muster and am hopeful that the adventure will give me plenty of ill advised antics that I can report to you upon its completion!
I hope that you are pleased with my inglorious return and may this report confirm to you that my idiocracy has not been abandoned and will thus continue with ill advised determination and relentless stupidity!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
A Surprising Return After a Brief Interlude....
I give my sincerest apologies for not reporting an account of my affairs over the last week. Due to increased demands from work and a significant amount of attention needed by the young Flugelhorn players, I was not able to work on my fitness for a week's time. With great fortune I was able to not only schedule but complete a run tonight which caused me great despair throughoust this day. I was indeed overly concerned that my fitness level had decreased in a week's time to such a state that even a marginal jaunt would be cumbersome and sickly. Hence I concluded that I would test my current capacity with a lazy and slothfully paced 5 mile excursion through the neighborhood.
To my surprise the begiining of the run was quite easy and I reached the one mile mark with little to report and at a pace of 10 minutes and 20 seconds. I felt even somewhat refreshed thus I decided to concentrate on my breathing and not so much my running. I had a desire to see how long I would last by breathing through my nasal cavity and out of my mouth for I had read that this method of breathing allows an decreased amount of carbon dioxide build up within the lungs which facilitates more efficient running. I started this breathing method at mile number two and by mile three I was pleased enough with the results to continue doing so until I felt that any more continuance would be detrimental to my survival.
This breathing is much quieter than my normal hyperventilation method and I was surprised when I ran up on two different groups of young people who evidently had been gathering at different spots along my route to conduct in Late Summer Revelry. I felt pleased to see such young people out in the night looking to have a positive effect on our community. Surely the smell of alcohol was my imagination or some new fashionable perfume they had decided to use. I paused briefly at each group and thanked them for volunteering for the better good of our humble community and to this they were well pleased for they all stated something that sounded like "punto" and "pentejo". Though I am not conversant in the local Hispanic Dialect, I am familiar with a few common terms and I believe they were telling me that I looked well and that they wished me luck on the rest of my run. My heart was warmed by their encouragement and I continued on my journey. They must have thought I was thirsty for I heard two bottles crash behind me each time I left one of the groups. How nice of them to consider my needs! I must remember to ask them if they want to be a part of my race crew if I see them again. I would be honored to have such wholesome citizens included in my race adventure!
I was not able to continue my breathing pattern much after mile three, but my breathing after that was very relaxed so I must remember also to continue this method in the future.
To my surprise I concluded my five miles in under 54 minutes. After some searching through my records over my last ten runs, I was surprised to see I was almost 3 minutes faster than my previous runs at a distance of five miles. This alarmed me greatly for I felt surely that my week off would have a negative effect on my ability to improve. Alas this gives me great hope that my chances of DFLing are still quite good. My evil foes were not about this evening but I will remain on alert for their crafty ploys should they decide to be on the attack again.
I bid you all a good evening for it is time for me to extinguish the reading candle and begin a peaceful slumber that will prepare me adequately for the adventures that tomorrow shall bring forth.
To my surprise the begiining of the run was quite easy and I reached the one mile mark with little to report and at a pace of 10 minutes and 20 seconds. I felt even somewhat refreshed thus I decided to concentrate on my breathing and not so much my running. I had a desire to see how long I would last by breathing through my nasal cavity and out of my mouth for I had read that this method of breathing allows an decreased amount of carbon dioxide build up within the lungs which facilitates more efficient running. I started this breathing method at mile number two and by mile three I was pleased enough with the results to continue doing so until I felt that any more continuance would be detrimental to my survival.
This breathing is much quieter than my normal hyperventilation method and I was surprised when I ran up on two different groups of young people who evidently had been gathering at different spots along my route to conduct in Late Summer Revelry. I felt pleased to see such young people out in the night looking to have a positive effect on our community. Surely the smell of alcohol was my imagination or some new fashionable perfume they had decided to use. I paused briefly at each group and thanked them for volunteering for the better good of our humble community and to this they were well pleased for they all stated something that sounded like "punto" and "pentejo". Though I am not conversant in the local Hispanic Dialect, I am familiar with a few common terms and I believe they were telling me that I looked well and that they wished me luck on the rest of my run. My heart was warmed by their encouragement and I continued on my journey. They must have thought I was thirsty for I heard two bottles crash behind me each time I left one of the groups. How nice of them to consider my needs! I must remember to ask them if they want to be a part of my race crew if I see them again. I would be honored to have such wholesome citizens included in my race adventure!
I was not able to continue my breathing pattern much after mile three, but my breathing after that was very relaxed so I must remember also to continue this method in the future.
To my surprise I concluded my five miles in under 54 minutes. After some searching through my records over my last ten runs, I was surprised to see I was almost 3 minutes faster than my previous runs at a distance of five miles. This alarmed me greatly for I felt surely that my week off would have a negative effect on my ability to improve. Alas this gives me great hope that my chances of DFLing are still quite good. My evil foes were not about this evening but I will remain on alert for their crafty ploys should they decide to be on the attack again.
I bid you all a good evening for it is time for me to extinguish the reading candle and begin a peaceful slumber that will prepare me adequately for the adventures that tomorrow shall bring forth.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
A Miscalculation Improves Speed
Tonight's running plan looked very solid on paper as I plotted out the prospective course on my parchment with my favorite feather quill. The evening began at the local high school where I would pick up my son and then we planned to attend a planned Flugelhorn Instructor's Certification together. I would drive to certification from the local high school and then run the 4-6 miles home for my son would be able to ride home with my brother who had also planned to attend the certification process. Flugelhorn Instructors take certification very seriously and seeing the many Instructors in attendance made it a pleasant affair, though competition among marching teams is always very heated, especially the first week of the marching season. While we Instructors share a commom fondness of Flugelhorns and all that it implies, the icy stairs between Instructors created a freezing undercurrent that only can be warmed on the field during the heated battle of competitions. Our first competition will be this coming Saturday and not one Instructor feels that their players are ready. I feel that the Instructors are just as nervous as the players!
After the certification was complete, my son joined my brother and they began their journey home and I prepared for the run. After stopping by my vehicle to get my hydration belt, I started to run out of the parking lot. I looked back at my vehicle briefly then stopped suddenly! If I was to run home, then how would I get my vehicle back to the domicile? What a shocking display of planning! For hark! Alas! I would still need to somehow get my vehicle home. I surely could not run and drive at the same time! I thought briefly of running 1.75 miles away from the vehicle then returning to the vehicle with a textbook Out and Back Adjustment for my planned distance this evening was 3.5 miles! But then my vehicle would be unattended and would be left quite ripe for sabotage. It could very well be that my running foes are secretly allied with the Instructors. Thus I changed my plan and drove to my abode and then I could get miles in around the neighborhood where my vehicle would be protected from foulery.
After I arrived home, I plotted a new course that would total 4.4 miles of flat road road running. The flatness would give me an opportunity to increase my speed and the extra .9 miles would put me ahead of my weekly total. This plan was briefly celebrated and then I embarked on my run. I began running confident in my energy level but slightly disappointed in my earlier logistical management, which was severely lacking any intelligent forethought.
Nonetheless, my run began at a brisk pace and I soon could tell I was in the midst of a a run of epic proportions! The few days off since my long run on Saturday had apparently given my legs some much needed rest and I was running as fast as I ever run this course. I kept waiting for the throes of fatigue to tackle me and stop me dead in my tracks. But hark my speed never decreased! I found myself not jogging, but actually running as if the wind was carrying me through the streets. As I passed potential thuggery gathered on the street corners drinking large containers of apparent imbibery, I exclaimed loudly "I am the wind! I am the wind!" The silence that followed was an obvious sign of intimidation.
Soon I was on the backstretch of my run, striding ever harder when the pacekeeper on my cellular communications device told me dryly that I had reached 3.0 miles. Evidently I miscalculated the route! I finished at 3.1 miles instead of the intended 4.4! Another logistical miscalculation has risen before me! I was in a state of great dispair as I stopped in the yard of my domicile and silently cursed the state of my self-imposed affairs. But alas, creative cursage would only pull me deeper into dispair. Thus I pulled myself out of my neighbor arousing tantrum and quietly entered my abode. I could let this affair dampen my spirit, but I shall not! I at least completed a run in which my pace was faster than expected. For this I will be pleased and will use my miscalculations today as a lesson to take more time in my planning. A lesson learned indeed!
Tomorrow's run will consist of a 4-6 mile jaunt home after Frugelhorn rehearsal and of this route I am quite sure that I shall not defeat myself with unintelligent planning!
I am the Wind!
After the certification was complete, my son joined my brother and they began their journey home and I prepared for the run. After stopping by my vehicle to get my hydration belt, I started to run out of the parking lot. I looked back at my vehicle briefly then stopped suddenly! If I was to run home, then how would I get my vehicle back to the domicile? What a shocking display of planning! For hark! Alas! I would still need to somehow get my vehicle home. I surely could not run and drive at the same time! I thought briefly of running 1.75 miles away from the vehicle then returning to the vehicle with a textbook Out and Back Adjustment for my planned distance this evening was 3.5 miles! But then my vehicle would be unattended and would be left quite ripe for sabotage. It could very well be that my running foes are secretly allied with the Instructors. Thus I changed my plan and drove to my abode and then I could get miles in around the neighborhood where my vehicle would be protected from foulery.
After I arrived home, I plotted a new course that would total 4.4 miles of flat road road running. The flatness would give me an opportunity to increase my speed and the extra .9 miles would put me ahead of my weekly total. This plan was briefly celebrated and then I embarked on my run. I began running confident in my energy level but slightly disappointed in my earlier logistical management, which was severely lacking any intelligent forethought.
Nonetheless, my run began at a brisk pace and I soon could tell I was in the midst of a a run of epic proportions! The few days off since my long run on Saturday had apparently given my legs some much needed rest and I was running as fast as I ever run this course. I kept waiting for the throes of fatigue to tackle me and stop me dead in my tracks. But hark my speed never decreased! I found myself not jogging, but actually running as if the wind was carrying me through the streets. As I passed potential thuggery gathered on the street corners drinking large containers of apparent imbibery, I exclaimed loudly "I am the wind! I am the wind!" The silence that followed was an obvious sign of intimidation.
Soon I was on the backstretch of my run, striding ever harder when the pacekeeper on my cellular communications device told me dryly that I had reached 3.0 miles. Evidently I miscalculated the route! I finished at 3.1 miles instead of the intended 4.4! Another logistical miscalculation has risen before me! I was in a state of great dispair as I stopped in the yard of my domicile and silently cursed the state of my self-imposed affairs. But alas, creative cursage would only pull me deeper into dispair. Thus I pulled myself out of my neighbor arousing tantrum and quietly entered my abode. I could let this affair dampen my spirit, but I shall not! I at least completed a run in which my pace was faster than expected. For this I will be pleased and will use my miscalculations today as a lesson to take more time in my planning. A lesson learned indeed!
Tomorrow's run will consist of a 4-6 mile jaunt home after Frugelhorn rehearsal and of this route I am quite sure that I shall not defeat myself with unintelligent planning!
I am the Wind!
A Highly Anticpated Run That is Cancelled
I eagerly looked forward to an enegertic 6 mile jaunt after Flugelhorn practice on Tuesday eve. I felt somewhat satisfied that my training and DFL strategy implementation were placing me in a state of near confidence and that I had a decent chance of successfully reaching my objectives.
However, a look to the north quickly dashed my hopes of a decent run. A highly electrical storm was fast approaching and the forbidding clouds darkened my hopes of any safe training on this night. The storm approached with such speed that we had to clear the young Flugelhorners from the field due to near by lightning strikes.
After the young enthusiasts were dispatched to their parents, the instructors quickly followed. The violent lightning strikes created a surreal, apocalyptcal scene that caused me great fear. Thus I agreed with the recommendations of my fellow instructors that our lives were surely in danger and that the seeking of immediate shelter would be a prudent decision.
The storm as passed now and I feel that my chances of running on Wednesday night are quite good. Hence I hope that the cooler temperatures that ushered in such atmospheric violence the previous night will motivate me to train in a hardy and robust manner this coming night.
I shall report my success at the conclusion of my run tonight and would hope that my loyal readers following my progress from their homes will encourage me to be at least moderately successful.
Until tonight, I wish you a great day and that all of you create your own daily masterpieces!
However, a look to the north quickly dashed my hopes of a decent run. A highly electrical storm was fast approaching and the forbidding clouds darkened my hopes of any safe training on this night. The storm approached with such speed that we had to clear the young Flugelhorners from the field due to near by lightning strikes.
After the young enthusiasts were dispatched to their parents, the instructors quickly followed. The violent lightning strikes created a surreal, apocalyptcal scene that caused me great fear. Thus I agreed with the recommendations of my fellow instructors that our lives were surely in danger and that the seeking of immediate shelter would be a prudent decision.
The storm as passed now and I feel that my chances of running on Wednesday night are quite good. Hence I hope that the cooler temperatures that ushered in such atmospheric violence the previous night will motivate me to train in a hardy and robust manner this coming night.
I shall report my success at the conclusion of my run tonight and would hope that my loyal readers following my progress from their homes will encourage me to be at least moderately successful.
Until tonight, I wish you a great day and that all of you create your own daily masterpieces!
Monday, August 13, 2012
An Early Morning Adventure....
Due to Flugelhorn practice running late on Friday evening, I was forced to forego Friday evening's run. I was reluctant to make such a decision, but a run of vital significance would be taking place the following morning (a long run at Cedar Hill State Park). If I had indeedrun on Friday night, the run's late finish would have more than likely impeded my performance the following morning. Thus I began to focus on the Saturday morning run immediately upon practice completion.
I awakened from my slumber @ 6:30am CST Saturday with the temperature hovering at an incredibly fortunate 71 degrees. By far the coolest temperatures in quite some time. This caused quite a stir in my body parts upon my awakening. To take advantage of the temperature and to hasten the completion of my run, I rushed hurriedly to the trailhead. I feared that with the cooler temperature, the trail could be quite congested. Thus I wanted to secure a parking spot close to the trailhead so that I would not have to crawl far upon finishing the run. Surprisingly, there were only 6 cars present and this excited me greatly. I was not in the park but 2 minutes when I spotted 2 coyotes walking around the park road. When they noticed my presence, they looked at me brieflly and then sprinted into a wooded area. I felt this was a good omen indeed and I wondered out loud if my evil foes had attempted to foil me again with coyote usage.
Due to me being needed at a Flugelhorn event at 11am after the run, I decided against running the longer loop posted at 12 miles, but instead embarked on the posted 3 Mile Loop. My objective was to complete 4 laps of this loop which would put me at a total of 12 miles. Additionally, this plan would keep me closer to the bathroom in case of acute gastric detonation. Foreshadowing intended.....
Feeling confident of my run strategy, I was even more surprised when another strategy developed surprisingly within my collective consciousness which created additional excitement. This racing strategy will be an epic advancement in Ultra-marathon racing and will, with little doubt, allow any individual an easy path to DFL in any race they enter. I will share this with you at another time possibly, but there is more adventure to share with you at this time!
Upon nearing completion of my first loop (which ended up being a mere 2.65 miles and not the posted 3 miles), a familiar chaos was beginng to reveal itself in my bowels. I decided to keep running when I reached the trailhead, but instead of remaining on course, I sprinted straight to the bathroom. The parking lot was becoming more congested, but I still managed a hurried wave and declared to all who were present to not worry! I will be fine upon the completion of my next bodily objective! The neaby bathroom was quite hospitable and this task was successful with great thanks to my sprinting abilities. At this time, I was quite pleased that I had not chosen the longer loop for using Poison Ivy as a moist towlette has no appeal to me and would be difficult to explain if so asked as to why I am rubbing my reddened derriere on the ground like a frustrated canine!
After sprinting back onto the course and getting alarmed gasps from fitness enthusiasts gathered near the trailhead, I was able to complete Loop 2 with few incidents of consequence except for a monumental surge in energy caused by the nasty tasting Roctane Gu I had consumed. This sticky concoction is of the foulest tasting snake oil potions I have ever tried, but is quite affective in maintaing energy levels. I am still wondering why some of this ended up in my hair and inside my running shorts (which the consequencial stains caused more gasping from various peoples).
I was still slightly surging from the Gu burst when a fellow runner approached me at mile 6.73 and told me she had just seen a snake not 100 yards away from me on the trail in the direction I was heading! I am naturally apprehensive of snakes and my anxiety level rose dramatically upon hearing this dreaded news. She said the snake had red and black stripes so I immediately tried to recite the saying I learned as a child when my father would drop me off in the field with the "babysitters": Red on black friend of Jack's - red on yellow kills a fellow. This caused me great alarm for I would be that fellow! I knew not what to do due to the fear that suddenly enveloped me. I started to turn around and sprint the other direction exclaiming "Snake! Evil Snake Ahead!" but with some unexplained courage, I reached down, grabbed a very large stick and declared I am prepared for death (whether my demise came from a snake or my own undoing it matters not). With the club grasped tightly by my hand, I forged ahead declaring loudly that I was prepared to bludgeon any serpent that approached me! A more whimped bludgeoner has never been seen!
I kept close track of my strides so that I would be all the ready after covering 100 yards where the serpent allegedly laid in wait for my approach, no doubt anxious to inject me with deadly venom to perpetuate my demise. I carefully searched the trail for any signs of ambush. But hark, I did not ever see the snake, but I did cause a bicyclist great fear when he pedalled by me. He may have believed that I was going to bludgeon him and not the snake! I was indeed apologetic for causing him fear, but when it comes to the Serpents of Satan, I must protect myself with all the resources I can muster. I would not in the least be surprised if this whole serpent affair was a foe generated ploy to slow my progress.
Loops 2 and 3 went with no further events to report. As I approached the completion of Loop 3, I checked my watch and decided that if I hurried, I could complete one more loop before departing for Flugelhornery. I actually completed the last loop faster than any other. This shows my new strategy is quite successful and this should make you well pleased with my efforts. I finished the 4 Loops with just enough time left on my time piece to arrive at Flugelhornery only a few moments late.
Though I was not pleased that my 4 Loops totalled just 10.66 miles (the furthest I have ever intentionally run when not being chased) and fell short of my expected miles, I am pleased that my new strategy is sound from all perspectives. It will surely allow me to have the energy later in the race to activate stalling measures to ensure my DFL finish! This is outstanding news!
The rest of the weekend was filled with disasterous affairs. I will list briefly the circumstances that prohibited me from running on Sunday. I list these in chronological order due to these events possibly causing a chain reaction of future events:
1. Flat tire on Minstrel Transport Vehicle on the way to our performance Saturday eve causing late arrival
2. Major sound issues at performance that caused even more tragic delays
3. Flat Tire on my vehicle on my way home after unloading the Minstrel Trailer
4. Severe lightning storm on Sunday evening
I was forced to spend Sunday morning on vehicle repair and maintenance. I also had Flugelhorn meetings for my son on Sunday afternoon and early evening, thus narrowing my running opportunity window.
This week will be challenging as well. I will be surprised to complete 2 weeknight runs and 1 weekend run. But with my new strategy, I feel I can still move forward even with my limited opportunities. This week's focus will be on quality and not quantity. For this reason, I will not pre-post too much information concerning my plans so that I will cause my foes (who so wish to sabotage me) great confusion.
I have attached a photo of the temperature when I ran Saturday as well as a photo of me upon completing the run. Please enjoy these images and may they bring you great amusement!
I awakened from my slumber @ 6:30am CST Saturday with the temperature hovering at an incredibly fortunate 71 degrees. By far the coolest temperatures in quite some time. This caused quite a stir in my body parts upon my awakening. To take advantage of the temperature and to hasten the completion of my run, I rushed hurriedly to the trailhead. I feared that with the cooler temperature, the trail could be quite congested. Thus I wanted to secure a parking spot close to the trailhead so that I would not have to crawl far upon finishing the run. Surprisingly, there were only 6 cars present and this excited me greatly. I was not in the park but 2 minutes when I spotted 2 coyotes walking around the park road. When they noticed my presence, they looked at me brieflly and then sprinted into a wooded area. I felt this was a good omen indeed and I wondered out loud if my evil foes had attempted to foil me again with coyote usage.
Due to me being needed at a Flugelhorn event at 11am after the run, I decided against running the longer loop posted at 12 miles, but instead embarked on the posted 3 Mile Loop. My objective was to complete 4 laps of this loop which would put me at a total of 12 miles. Additionally, this plan would keep me closer to the bathroom in case of acute gastric detonation. Foreshadowing intended.....
Feeling confident of my run strategy, I was even more surprised when another strategy developed surprisingly within my collective consciousness which created additional excitement. This racing strategy will be an epic advancement in Ultra-marathon racing and will, with little doubt, allow any individual an easy path to DFL in any race they enter. I will share this with you at another time possibly, but there is more adventure to share with you at this time!
Upon nearing completion of my first loop (which ended up being a mere 2.65 miles and not the posted 3 miles), a familiar chaos was beginng to reveal itself in my bowels. I decided to keep running when I reached the trailhead, but instead of remaining on course, I sprinted straight to the bathroom. The parking lot was becoming more congested, but I still managed a hurried wave and declared to all who were present to not worry! I will be fine upon the completion of my next bodily objective! The neaby bathroom was quite hospitable and this task was successful with great thanks to my sprinting abilities. At this time, I was quite pleased that I had not chosen the longer loop for using Poison Ivy as a moist towlette has no appeal to me and would be difficult to explain if so asked as to why I am rubbing my reddened derriere on the ground like a frustrated canine!
After sprinting back onto the course and getting alarmed gasps from fitness enthusiasts gathered near the trailhead, I was able to complete Loop 2 with few incidents of consequence except for a monumental surge in energy caused by the nasty tasting Roctane Gu I had consumed. This sticky concoction is of the foulest tasting snake oil potions I have ever tried, but is quite affective in maintaing energy levels. I am still wondering why some of this ended up in my hair and inside my running shorts (which the consequencial stains caused more gasping from various peoples).
I was still slightly surging from the Gu burst when a fellow runner approached me at mile 6.73 and told me she had just seen a snake not 100 yards away from me on the trail in the direction I was heading! I am naturally apprehensive of snakes and my anxiety level rose dramatically upon hearing this dreaded news. She said the snake had red and black stripes so I immediately tried to recite the saying I learned as a child when my father would drop me off in the field with the "babysitters": Red on black friend of Jack's - red on yellow kills a fellow. This caused me great alarm for I would be that fellow! I knew not what to do due to the fear that suddenly enveloped me. I started to turn around and sprint the other direction exclaiming "Snake! Evil Snake Ahead!" but with some unexplained courage, I reached down, grabbed a very large stick and declared I am prepared for death (whether my demise came from a snake or my own undoing it matters not). With the club grasped tightly by my hand, I forged ahead declaring loudly that I was prepared to bludgeon any serpent that approached me! A more whimped bludgeoner has never been seen!
I kept close track of my strides so that I would be all the ready after covering 100 yards where the serpent allegedly laid in wait for my approach, no doubt anxious to inject me with deadly venom to perpetuate my demise. I carefully searched the trail for any signs of ambush. But hark, I did not ever see the snake, but I did cause a bicyclist great fear when he pedalled by me. He may have believed that I was going to bludgeon him and not the snake! I was indeed apologetic for causing him fear, but when it comes to the Serpents of Satan, I must protect myself with all the resources I can muster. I would not in the least be surprised if this whole serpent affair was a foe generated ploy to slow my progress.
Loops 2 and 3 went with no further events to report. As I approached the completion of Loop 3, I checked my watch and decided that if I hurried, I could complete one more loop before departing for Flugelhornery. I actually completed the last loop faster than any other. This shows my new strategy is quite successful and this should make you well pleased with my efforts. I finished the 4 Loops with just enough time left on my time piece to arrive at Flugelhornery only a few moments late.
Though I was not pleased that my 4 Loops totalled just 10.66 miles (the furthest I have ever intentionally run when not being chased) and fell short of my expected miles, I am pleased that my new strategy is sound from all perspectives. It will surely allow me to have the energy later in the race to activate stalling measures to ensure my DFL finish! This is outstanding news!
The rest of the weekend was filled with disasterous affairs. I will list briefly the circumstances that prohibited me from running on Sunday. I list these in chronological order due to these events possibly causing a chain reaction of future events:
1. Flat tire on Minstrel Transport Vehicle on the way to our performance Saturday eve causing late arrival
2. Major sound issues at performance that caused even more tragic delays
3. Flat Tire on my vehicle on my way home after unloading the Minstrel Trailer
4. Severe lightning storm on Sunday evening
I was forced to spend Sunday morning on vehicle repair and maintenance. I also had Flugelhorn meetings for my son on Sunday afternoon and early evening, thus narrowing my running opportunity window.
This week will be challenging as well. I will be surprised to complete 2 weeknight runs and 1 weekend run. But with my new strategy, I feel I can still move forward even with my limited opportunities. This week's focus will be on quality and not quantity. For this reason, I will not pre-post too much information concerning my plans so that I will cause my foes (who so wish to sabotage me) great confusion.
I have attached a photo of the temperature when I ran Saturday as well as a photo of me upon completing the run. Please enjoy these images and may they bring you great amusement!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
A Much Day of Rest and a Vampirism Confirmation...
I had originally planned a 5 mile jaunt through Cedar Ridge Preserve on Wednesday evening, but by lunch time yesterday it was quite obvious that I was in no condition to attempt any form of activity that would require even a minute amount of concentration. I was apparently in such a state of fatigue that even co-workers were questioning my health. I looked back at the amount of sleep I had been able to undertake for the previous 3 evenings and could not count more than 12 hours total. I decided that rest would be the best decision I could fathom and managed to get 8 hours and a half more last night. And I feel much better for it.
To adjust my running schedule, I have concluded that the best option would be to run 6 miles on Friday after Frugelhornery and then arise early on Saturday to train at Cedar Hill State Park for 11 miles and one half more of heat induced running. I feel it will be a tough turn around, yet it is imperative that I establish consistent long runs on the weekends, despite whatever circumstances offer impedence.
Upon further reflection on my Vampire Run, I have concluded without a doubt that I was in fact visited by a Vampire on Tuesday evening. That would explain my drastic energy drain the day following for Vampires are known as Drainers of Energy as well as of Blood!
Additionally, I recalled that the Being that ran with me stated that he attended the same school that my son attended. Thus I gave my son an accurate description (or as accurate as I could considering the darkened circumstances) and my son declared alas he had never heard of such a person! It would make logical sense that a Vampire would not actually attend a public school since they have a strong aversion to sunlight and thus would miss all their classes (unless they attended a Vampire School). Vampires are known to bear false witness against their victims and this Vampire dispatched lies as easily as he dispatches his victims. He must have known a man of my apparent means would validate all information given to me. But he knew by the time I would be able to do so, his deadly craft would have already been used against me. Obviously, my crafty foes hatched this sinister plot to weaken me. But I declare to them that once they may have temporarily weakened me, but I am now even more motivated to DFL!
Their attacks against me have increased in number over the recent weeks so I feel that my training efforts are increasing their fear of me. Who is to know what the next attack against me will entail? For I have been attacked by wolves and now the Undead. What means do they have to achieve such evil?
As I train, I am sure they create more hazordous plots against me as they gather in a candle lit room hatching more plots of sinistry. But I fear not and will be adequately prepared to remain alert to foil their plans all the more! Fear not for me but for them I declare!
To adjust my running schedule, I have concluded that the best option would be to run 6 miles on Friday after Frugelhornery and then arise early on Saturday to train at Cedar Hill State Park for 11 miles and one half more of heat induced running. I feel it will be a tough turn around, yet it is imperative that I establish consistent long runs on the weekends, despite whatever circumstances offer impedence.
Upon further reflection on my Vampire Run, I have concluded without a doubt that I was in fact visited by a Vampire on Tuesday evening. That would explain my drastic energy drain the day following for Vampires are known as Drainers of Energy as well as of Blood!
Additionally, I recalled that the Being that ran with me stated that he attended the same school that my son attended. Thus I gave my son an accurate description (or as accurate as I could considering the darkened circumstances) and my son declared alas he had never heard of such a person! It would make logical sense that a Vampire would not actually attend a public school since they have a strong aversion to sunlight and thus would miss all their classes (unless they attended a Vampire School). Vampires are known to bear false witness against their victims and this Vampire dispatched lies as easily as he dispatches his victims. He must have known a man of my apparent means would validate all information given to me. But he knew by the time I would be able to do so, his deadly craft would have already been used against me. Obviously, my crafty foes hatched this sinister plot to weaken me. But I declare to them that once they may have temporarily weakened me, but I am now even more motivated to DFL!
Their attacks against me have increased in number over the recent weeks so I feel that my training efforts are increasing their fear of me. Who is to know what the next attack against me will entail? For I have been attacked by wolves and now the Undead. What means do they have to achieve such evil?
As I train, I am sure they create more hazordous plots against me as they gather in a candle lit room hatching more plots of sinistry. But I fear not and will be adequately prepared to remain alert to foil their plans all the more! Fear not for me but for them I declare!
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