Monday, June 4, 2012

First Long (?) Run of my Ultra Career or Druids and Barbed Wire....

 This should give you a good indication of why I am endeared to as the Ultra-Idiot by a large group of one (which is me). I am going to post about my last (and only) long run of my Week 1.
The plan was to run 3 to 3.5 miles @ River Legacy in Arlington TX. I have never run there before but the course looked simple enough from my extensive internet research that lasted about 3 minutes. My total mileage is going to be pretty light right now. This will give me better puke training for when I get to increase my mileage in the future. But more on that later.
 I didn't get to the trail until right at 7pm. I decided to digest dinner and to let the temp get below 90. I strapped on the Camelback (I mentioned the brand so they will sponsor me) and headed out on the trail.
 Mile 1 - Felt great w/ an 11 minute per mile pace. This course is really kinda easy when you compare it to Cedar Hill State Park (another sponsorship opportunity). Nice and flat. I got this!
Mile 2 - No cussing yet! I expected to hit a turn around but took an extra loop somehere. Then I appeared to change direction and this was looking like it was the easiest long trail run of my ultra career (also my first). I saw some female hikers and they asked how much further the trail was. I said I didn't have any idea. This is my first time out here. They told me to stay to the right and I will make it back easy. Hindsight tells me that they were evil druids.
Mile 3 - According to my phone I was getting close to the last leg. But I hit some kind of loop. Found my way back to the original trail.  Then hit it again. And again. I passed the same  armadillo 5 times. He laughed at me. 5 times. He wasn't even scared of me. Not once. I ran up the hill in the image at the end of this post 6 times. That was a blast.....  I obviously was in a time - space continuum (I don't know what that is but it made me sound smart and very scientific).
Mile 4-6 - With the darkness coming upon me and my fear of druids and laughing armadillos controlling my every thought,  I decided to climb a barbed wire fence and leave the park. From my phone map, there was a road that I could follow to get back into the park after another bloody barbed wire fence climb. Anything would have worked better than what I was currently failing at. As I climbed the fence off the trail (the 2 bikers that saw me do that got real quiet when they drove by - they probably thought I was champion ultra marathoner and were intimidated), I heard a growling noise and took off as fast as I could for the road. When I got to the top of the road, I thought that an evil dog was following me and I took off running. It ended up being my Camelback strap. Or a ghost dog. I ran about a mile and then saw a good spot to re-enter the park. Or get shot as a trespasser. But that sounded better than being kidnapped by druids and eaten by a ghost dog or laughing armadillo. As I climbed the fence, I got stuck in some thorny bushes. There was blood. And cussing. My sneak back into the park was more like a loud bulldozer riding through an antique shop. I got many stares from the partiers in the park. I guess they thought I was the Wild Man of River Legacy. I was covered in blood and burrs ( I am still removing the burrs).
 From my phone, I had about a 3/4 of a mile run back to the car. Where upon my arrival, I discovered that I couldn't open my magnetic spare key holder. After 10 minutes, I just broke it and threw it in the bushes. It hit the armadillo. He wasn't laughing any more.
Total Runs for Week 1  - 4
Planned Miles - 14
Actual Miles - 19.5
Tetanus Shots Needed - 1!

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