Saturday, June 23, 2012

Ahhhhh! Alas! The Bowels of Hell Have Exploded Uponst Me...

I apologize for not blogging recently. I have been out of town. During the course of my vacation, a minor physical condition that had befallen me morphed into a painful travesty of ghastly and bloody proportions. Despite a visit to a Dr before the embarkment of my journey, the condition worsened into such extreme measures that reasonable enjoyment of the trip was a far fetched impossibility. Upon my return, a new Dr was found who informed my personage that the only cure for my current malady is immediate surgical intervention with implements designed for the worst of diabolical cruelty. After thoughtful consideration of my current condition, I have decided that indeed the only way to relieve myself (pun intended) of this horrendous curse is to put the fate of my life's quality in the hands of a skilled and smirking surgeon. Alas I am to be under the practitioner's knife on the following Monday (a day and a night and a day and a night from hence)!
With great luck, I shall be relieved of this abomination (or abominations) and will be able to forge forward soon (couple of weeks?) in my training. Perhaps temporarily weakened, but with great hopes of rising above the darkened abyss of blood and pain to set a new standard in idiotic training.
I shall update this world of my condition and recovery if I am fortunate enough to survive this affliction with any sense of faculty and presence.
I implore your prayers and wishes to pull me from these darkened, gloomy depths of peril so that my plight will soon cease and desist from impaling me. Thus freeing me from its desolated malediction.
Hark! Let blessedness reign again!
(no thesauri were intentionally harmed in the making of this prose)

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