Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A Disappointing Affair!

I began this day with fear and such great trepidation that accomplishing even simple tasks was quite challenging. For this day I was scheduled to see the surgeon whom dedicated his life to haunting me forever and from whose actions I will always be scarred. My fear was precipitated by the painful nature of the exam that I fear would be needed in order to facilitate my full release from his cursed care. I entered into the Dr's office quietly and with hope that my earlier bomb threat would be successful.
As I was called into the chamber of horrors, I tried to show my courage by bravely fleeing but was caught by 2 hairy chested men dressed in animal skins whom promptly dragged me screaming to the room of examination. The 2 beasts followed me into the room and the nurse asked me to disrobe so that the Dr could proceed with his study of my recovery. As I performed the requested act, I couldn't help but notice the look of enthusiasm and anticipation that fell upon the beasts as they grunted and clapped their hands with uncharacteristic glee.
Shortly thereafter, the Dr appeared in the room dressed in leather and riding a child's stick horse as a song evidently called Careless Whispers began to play from an unknown source while the lights magically dimmed. I can safely say that this bizarre mood setting nearly caused my bladder to uncontrollably release.
The Dr, after dismounting his toyful steed, lifted up my gown briefly then after quick inspection announced me completely healed and then skipped out of the room. I grabbed my clothes and bounded from the room as quickly as possible! Dressing as I ran as if I was a caught teenager escaping the wrath of an angry father after being caught with his precious daughter playing Strip Go Fish.
After my narrow escape from almost certain rapery, I began to plan this night's run which would take place after Frugelhorn practice with the young men. This run would take place on the same route as last Thursday of which I spewed violently in the view of the ridiculing public. Needless to say, I felt with great confidence that should the opportunity present itself again, I shall proudly spew again.
With great disappointment, I announce that this run of 4.1 road miles did not produce any kind of gastric event worth noting. I was able to make it back to my domicile with most types of DNA contained within my person. The young Frugelhorn players will be disappointed in my efforts and will no doubt march with little enthusiasm at Thursday's practice upon hearing this.
I was able to fatigue myself quite thoroughly though and was able to attach a photograph of my finish. Additionally, I have attached a screen shot of my route this evening which will no doubt give you a clear indication of my apparent lack of talent.
Alas I look forward to a slow run through trails tomorrow that will include an ample amount of time of me being either lost or chased by angry mimes.
Right! Until tomorrow then.

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