Friday, July 20, 2012

Unsuccessful Multi-tasking!

 After giving my charred bottom some rest (not in a total sense but hopefully a relief sense but not even that either as I recollect yesterday events privately), I decided that perhaps a run tonight would be in order since my Chafe of Booty no longer resembled the glowing remains of a recent campfire. A & D oitment did a wondrous job providing a most excellent and surprising recovery. I regret not having reported this yesterday. Perhaps next time I incur such a serious life threatening injury, I will give a timely update so the rest of you can go about your day and not worry yourselves with the predicament that placed me in such rashful bondage.
 Before I began my training plans, I had to coordinate the feasibility of a run because on this night a meeting of young frugelhorn players and their parents was to convene and my attendence was requested. After a cursory check of a local map and some careful triangulation, I discerned that the meeting's location was a mere 4.1 miles from my home.The run could in fact take place since my son and younger brother were asked to attend the meeting as well. We could ride to the meeting together and after dismissal of the frugelhorn players and their parents, I could run home. All agreed that this was an excellent plan and much rejoicing took place of which I took great part in.
 Upon the meeting's conclusion, I began my run with tempered enthusiasm. Knowing that few options were available to me along the planned route to dispose of any natural needs that could occur while en route, I deeply desired that I would complete the run without need of any portable waste management modules and dutifully took a healthy dose of Bismol of Pepto to give my bowels a strong resistance should they decide to erupt catastrophically.
 About approximately mile 1.2, my son and brother drove by me on the road and showed their respect of my running ability by showering me with bags of refuse from a local eatery. It felt nice that at least some of the refuse that was accurately hurled at me this night was lovingly thrown from my own family.
 Fortunately my bowels behaved quite admirably on this run, but my bladder decided it would have none of this great behavior and at mile 1.99 I found a quaint alley to spell out the name of this blog in liquid waste format on a wooden fence off the road. Upon my artful completion, I began my run again but noticed that a slight dizziness had fallen upon me. After slowing down to help alleviate the dizziness, an urge to expel the contents of my stomach orally struck me in such a violent manner that I could not deny my stomach's desire. After a few moments of wretchful dry heaving, I walked 20 cubics and found the dizziness subsiding enough to continue running and did so with gayful jubilation.
 Fortunately I was able to finsh tonight's journey with little additional complication and was quite proud of myself for earning another badge of ultra-honor. I feel that no one is more dedicated to DFLing than I. Thusly, I am quite hopeful that such efforts will keep my spirits in good measure.

Tonight's Stats for those of you keeping score in your ledgers at home:
Total Miles - 4.1
Total Miles Regurgitating - .02
Minutes of Dizziness - 10
Total Miles Thus Far This Week - 12.1

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