Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Intimidation of Future Opposition

After careful study of The Plan, I was pleased to find that a run of 5 miles would culminate this week's workouts. This run would be the second of back to back long runs that have become a a featured component of ultra running protocols. Feeling somewhat recovered from yesterday's heat stroke, I headed to Cedar Ridge Preserve early this morning to avoid any future heat induced infirmary visits.
Upon arrival, I took notice of several large groups of people gathered in the parking lot. None of which asked me to join with them. Obviously these groups were fearful of the Ultra-Idiot and did not wish to be included with my impending mis-adventure. I carefully navigated to the trailhead with great haste and disguise (a fake beard and mustache) so that I may not be delayed by overly enthusiastic autograph seekers. This plan worked brilliantly and I danced excitedly upon my approach of the trailhead.
Though I found the terrain quite challenging, the temperature was indeed more comfortable than yesterday. Thus my objective was to enjoy my excursion with as minimal effort and speed as possible.
Several times this morning I found other runners on the trail and noticed their looks of anger upon seeing me. It is sad that I, being such a strong proponent of the active lifestyle and a soon to be celebrity, would be treated with such disdain. I deduced that perhaps these runners were also training to DFL and that my methods were creating fear in their heart of hearts.
Using Map My Run worked well for me this morning except for 2 issues. The first was a random shut down of the recording of my workout at mile .94. But I was able to start another workout immediately, thus today's screen shot capture will include both workouts. I apologize for any distress this causes you and your family.
The 2nd malfunction is more of nuisance than anything else. The program contains a lady's voice that loudly announces my time and pace upon completion of each mile. I am fearful that her announcements will alert my DFL opponents of my time and pace as the scout me. While I enjoy this feature, I wonder if I could change this so she will announce my progress in another language so that I can create opponent confusion. Maybe a language such as Antarctican. I vow to research this at my convenience.
Upon my completion of today's run, I was preparing to depart the premises when I noticed another previously seen runner at his vehicle. He grabbed another hydration bladder and headed back out to the trail. I could do more than laugh at his folly. I obviously motivated him to run an extra loop or 6. I feel somewhat sorry for him. He has no idea that I am genetically and physically predisposed to DFL. But I do admire his attempt to foil my plans, though they will not be successful by any means. I will laughingly respect him but I will not falter in achieving what is rightfully mine!
Total Miles This Week: 25.42
Total Planned Miles This Week: 23.5
I exceeded all expectations and I am a legend.
I will plan to run thus again this coming Tuesday after successful back to back runs this weekend. Have a pleasant and adventurous day!

No comments:

Post a Comment